Wedding is most awaiting moment for many people in the world. Because after the wedding, people are going to have a “new life”. Everyone would dream to have beautiful marriage life and to create happy ending story. Though, happy ending seems never happen in marriage life. Marriage is not such as easy thing. It’s not the end, it’s the beginning of everything and more complicated things. It’s not the final, it’s the progress. It’s not the same anymore like you were dating your boyfriend or girlfriend because life after married giving you responsibility that you have to carry with others –and affect many aspects of your life. How to make the best marriage for your life? Find the right partner! This is a must!


Leny is 26 years old woman, get confuse on how to choose man of her life. She sent a letter to Hilbram Dunar, a  popular TV host and radio DJ and also the author of “Plastic Heaven” ( published on Indonesia ), who often giving advise on love life show. Leny told Hilbram that she loves her boyfriend, but she and her BF have very contrast character and way of thinking. His boyfriend is selfish, enjoy his own freedom, and disorganized. She doesn’t like many of his natures and doubt him to be a good head of household.


In different situation, she met a man who wanted to marry her. This guy has stable financial, religious, mature, responsible and seems to have similar point of view with her. Unfortunately she doesn’t have any feeling to him. She only like this guy as a friend, not more. Her question, who is the right man she should choose? Should she follow her heart but her logic contrary? or should she follow her logic but her heart does not feel?

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Also Read: 10 Types of Men are Not Ideal to be Your Boyfriend


How to decide a marriage? Follow Your Heart or Brain?

Well, love is complicated. But let’s find the win-win solution because whatever you decide for your marriage, it can affect your future and destiny. Hilbram believed that marriage decision should NOT be done when falling in love. Why? Because when you are falling in love, especially in the first 6 months of dating, everything seems to be very beautiful and your logic is paralyzed. Even, in this stage, the weakness of each other seems to be fun and exciting thing. And it’s all about romance!

After that period or in longer time of relationship, love learning to see with logic, that your judgement on further relationship can be more rational. In this moment, you can start to decide a marriage with more appeals.


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To answer Leny, Hilbram asked “If you believe your boyfriend is very contrast with you and you dislike his natures most and doubt him to be your good man in the future, what this guy has to make you madly in  love with him and want to marry him? In different side, you have stable guy, very good and religious that care about you so much. The question will be, what makes you have no feeling for him?”


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May be it’s unexpected answer to put Leny in dilemma. Hilbram didn’t want to Leny to decide soon though. Whatever, marriage is not supposed to be enforced. Because marriage without love will suffer her a lot too.


The conclusion, no need to be hurry to decide when you’re in doubt. Give yourself time to think about the two and get the best of the best choices. Let love speak with logic because in real, logic is important. It’s better wait when you sure to marry the right man for your life than being trap with wrong guy or the one that make you regret in the end. Again, your marriage will affect your future and destiny!


Also Read: 7 Signs He is Your Mr. Right