How important is getting married for you? For many people, getting married means a new life where the wonderful journey begins. Well, it’s not always that wonderful, because some married turn into disaster. Bitter? Yes, but it’s the truth we have to deal everyday. “and they live happily ever after..” story is not always happen. Marriage life can be happy and be unhappy. Thus, to make a happy marriage, you need a good commitment and preparation. This could involve your mental, physic and financial. Don’t get married just because age or one reason only.
Getting married only when you’re ready to go there
If you believe that marriage should create a new wonderful journey or is a holy matter, it’s no need to be hurry to go there. Enjoy your relationship, know your partner well and the most important thing, you must prepare your self. However, marriage is far different with dating. You carry more responsibility!
1. You Make a Comparison All Over Again
“See, they got married already, what we waiting for?”. If you have thrown this typical question to your boyfriend, it means you’re not mature yet for a marriage. Or you are going to 27 years old, and you see most of your friend are married already on that age, so you feel like in a rush to join them. Even worse, you like being obsessive with that marriage thing and talk about it all over again. Thing to remember, getting marriage is not a competition. The test of your relationship is not how fast you set a wedding, but how long you could stand on your marriage life later. Discuss it with your boyfriend and let him speak on his perspective.
2. Avoid talk about future
See how your partner react when you talk about future of your relationship. If he just hide and avoid again and again, the conclusion perhaps because he is not ready yet. If you feel like want to push him badly, be careful because it could make him feeling uncomfortable and stepping backward slowly. Watch the symptom, he will divert your question, change subject of conversation and lost enthusiasm at the sudden.
3. Thinking of Exaggerate Party Too Much
Well, it’s good to have great wedding. Many of us want to have extra ordinary wedding because it may happen only once in life –as our expectation. People will talk about your celebration and think it’s fabulous for couple of time. And you will love how they praise you and fly you to the sky. But then, few days later people will forget it. You will live your marriage normally after that. They don’t even care what will happen with you after that. They only call you as happy couple. If you were rich and have enough budget, it’s okay. But if you are not that rich, think twice! You have more responsibility and necessity after that. It would be worse if you collect debt after the wedding. That’s why it could be ridiculous to focus too much on party. Marriage is not only about wedding party. If you think wedding is more important than the meaning of it marriage, you only want to show off, you don’t really serious with the relationship.
4. Getting Marriage for Somebody Else
In many countries, if you’re not married yet in certain age, it embarrass you and family. And you will get common label like you are the sinner. Thus, some women rush in a marriage just to make her parent or relatives happy. Even, some women don’t mind to involve in arrange married just to get marital status. Is this happen to date? Yes, in certain places and with various cases –it’s not about getting married in certain age only! But, modern women should be smarter facing this situation. It’s not about your mother, bestie or grandmother, it’s about your happiness. Your feeling is more important!
5. No Discussion about Marriage Before
To make long journey, you need to discuss your mission and philosophy to your love one. Throw some jokes about your bad habit and weakness too is required too. If you get married for some times but later just realize your husband/wife has very contrast perspective with you, it could be disaster. It’s too early to decide a marriage when you don’t discuss big issues.
6. Getting Marry is Not Priority
If your boyfriend is not ready yet for wedding bell, it’s not that he doesn’t love you. He has dream and career to become his current priority. Real man knows when to think about wedding. They will make sure the wedding bell comes to the right time, when he has done his mission in financial and career to make sure his beloved has happy life. No real man want to make his woman suffering from poverty after married. You should be behind him to make him at his best, will you?
7. You’re The One Only to Responsible in Marriage
It’s never good to force one person to responsible on your happiness. Especially in marriage, sometime one have too big expectation to one another, which later become a serious issue. If marriage means somebody responsible for your happiness, it was wrong point of view. The best relationship and the most success is one which involves each other to complete. It might sound classic like old love story, but it’s true and compatible with these days situation. If you still have this mindset before your marriage, please don’t go there before wash your brain.
8. You Don’t Have to Getting Married
Modern people appreciate more freedom. Some people even don’t believe in marriage if they feel it will make too much restriction. You don’t have to get marriage, at least now or whenever you don’t feel ready enough. Ask yourself whether you really want to get married and will it strengthen your relationship or just to create another stress. If you feel like the last words seem about to happen, you may consider not to getting married now.
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9. Too Much Critic
If you and your boyfriend critic each other everyday during your relationship, you will likely create a hell in your future home. Good relationship will respect each other and appreciate each other. Critic is needed, but too much is a BIG no. It’s better to spend your life alone than have your single day full of stress.
10. Love, Family and Friendship
See how your boyfriend/ girlfriend treat your family and friend. If he acts cold and show his selfishness during your relationship, he will not made a good husband. Your life is not only about husband and wife, family and friendship is part of your life. If they can’t respect them and just want to enjoy time with you, most of time, he will not respect you after married and only busy with his self. But if he tried to approach your family and treat your friend like his friend, he will make you have wonderful marriage life and give you not much restriction after getting married.
Before you decide a marriage, it would be better too to involve your head before heart. I hope you’ve got what you want now 🙂